DISCUSSION GUIDE

9. Who He Actually Is

In the program, the narrator says: Part of growing up is discovering and learning how to express who you are, as a distinct individual. This is hard. Parents often have an idea of who you should grow up to be, while peers have a totally different concept of how you should look, talk, and act. Later Michael Meade observes, One of the hardest things for a parent to do is to see the actual nature of their own child.

? Why do you think Meade means by this? In your experience, what is the difference between expectations that provide a positive framework for growth and expectations that actually limit a young persons self-discovery?

10. Honor His Pride

Michael Thompson observes that when you talk to a boy, you have to understand that he thinks the whole talking thing may not be a masculine undertaking. So you have to ask a question a different way. You have to honor his pride and his masculinity, because hes trying to present himself as strong. I found the way to do it is to use a boy as a consultant on himself.

? This is, in effect, what Michael Meade is doing through the use of ceremony and poetry in the workshop. Can you think of other ways to engage a boy as a consultant on himself?
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